Thursday, September 18, 2014


Tagalized Books and things like that
by utaklato


I was like walking my way papunta ng school when I passed by this tindahan
ng children’s books and O-to-the-M-to-the-G I saw what appeared to be like
Hunger Games and Twilight na tinagalog. As in napa-OMG talaga me. Is it the
end of my helluva world? Is this the real life or is this fantasy lang ba?
They were translated na talaga!

Because I was so galit with what I saw, I made pasok to this store nga and
I made buklat those books. Yuck as in so corny the translation ha! I’m so
like galing in reading and stuff pa naman but seeing these made my
tagihawat and wrinkles make labas on my face ha! Nakakairita like super!
Imagine ha, they like Sotto-copied my favorite books talaga as in! Super!

As I turned the pages ng mga libro, I felt that certain galit inside me
boil and boil and boil. I already finished reading both the two books, as
in lahat nabasa ko na, and look what I saw, my treasured books na super
pinapahalagahan ko, they were butchered at nakatay at namurder all at the
same time. As in OMG ha nakakatawa as in super laugh ako while reading this
books like that.

Aside from that, like haller, di ba we have Filipino books naman. Like,
instead of translating the books, why not make imprenta Filpino books so
that ang napapakalat is yung books na truly ours. Oh dibuh, I’m like
instant, whatchacullit? Makabayan. I’m so proud like OM!

All of a sudden, while I was enjoying the humor na syempre may mixture pa
rin ng anger and stuff, someone went beside me and by the looks of her,
she’s a yaya. She’s like wearing this pink uniform that you see in
teleseryes talaga like as in. So, she was reaching for the same title of
the libro that I was reading, and bam, after making buklat a few pages with
ngiti while reading, she went to the cashier to make bili na the book. I
was in awe.

It suddenly occurred to me na, oo nga pala, these people so like can’t read
well in English. We cannot make sisi them for not being able to afford the
education that I am personally feasting on because of the tuition that is
so mahal na only people like me in the elite circle can afford and even
waste. So diba, they can’t enjoy the books na I get to read and ignore
afterwards dahil nabasa ko na. Sayang naman dibuh if they will not be able
to experience yung alam mo yun, you know, the certain sensation of like
fulfillment when you make tapos reading a libro dibuh.

So I was thankful and I would like to express my pasasalamat to the
publisher’s who made benta of these books na sobrang like magandang i-read
dibuh. Kasi, if not for them, those people na poor and unfortunately hindi
nakapag-study will not be able to read and experience the magic of
literature. Of course naman we would not make limot our own, but syempre,
we have to like read foreign na book, right?

I looked at the yaya walking away with that book that she bought. She is
like the one that got away with a promise that even if she is so mahirap,
she can like still afford education and things like that, books and all.
RIght din naman niya yun, dibuh? Like, dibuh? I sighed with relief, and I
promised myself that I will not make tantrums na when I see books like
these just because nabasa ko na ang books na ito, like you know, yung
parang ako lang ang my right to read these. I swear!

Oh no, not 50 shades of effin’ Grey!

MGA TANONG NA HINDI MASAGOT SAGOT:







1. Anong circumference ng mukha ni Charice at ano ang diameter ng panga nya? Show your solution.


2. Bakit pa tinawag na 2nd home ang School kung bawal rin matulog?





4, Kapag ba ang buntis, pinicturan, makukunan? Ipaliwanag.


5. What’s your point? Paki-locate sa Cartesian Plane.


6. Hanggang saan aabot ang bente pesos mo?


7. Kung walang kamay ang mga ibon, then why do birds suddenly APIR? Ipaliwanag.


8. Bakit mo pinagpipilitan sarili mo sa taong ayaw sa 'yo? Defend your answer.


9. Alin ang tunay, Royal True Orange o Minute Maid with Real Pulp?


10. Where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home? Cite examples based on experience.


11. Mas madali raw hulihin ang manok kapag nakatali,ngunit bakit pa ito kailangang gawin kung nakatali na nga ito?


12. Gaano kaitim yang kili-kili mo? Explain using the fifty shades of grey.


13. Paano mangulangot si Wolverine? Explain and illustrate.


14. Bakit wala paring tatalo sa ALASKA? Explain briefly, No Erasure!


15. Ano ang cultural explanation ng pagkembot ng reyna habang pumapasok ito sa bulaklak?


16. Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements?


17. Bakit double U ang tawag sa W? Bakit hindi na lang double V?


18. Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong gumanda, anong karapatan mo? Defend your answer.


19. Kailan grumaduate ang Graduated Cylinder? Expound. Show history.


20. Bakit square ang box ng pizza samantalang circle naman ang pizza? Elaborate.


21. Nasaan ang corn, sa corned beef?


22. Gaano kataas ang lipad ng Whisper with Wings? Demonstrate.


23. Pwede bang lagyan ng ballpen ang Pencil Case?


24. Who let the dogs out? Explain briefly.


25. Sinong kumagat sa Apple logo? I-explain bakit hindi niya inubos.


26. Pag na-ban ang plastic sa Pilipinas, kelangan mo na ba matakot at magtago?


27. Kung 20 yrs old na si Mahal. Niregla ba siya? Illustrate her pubity stage according to Darwins theory.


28. Only Belo touches my skin, who touches yours?


29. Ano ang meron kay Brand X at galit na galit ang ibang brand sakanya? Defend your answer.


30. Kapatid ba ni Swiper the Fox si Megan Fox? At pinsan ba ni Megan Fox si Mozilla Firefox?


31. Ano susundin mo, sigaw ng puso mo o sigaw ng nanay mo?


32. Jumbo hotdog kaya mo ba ‘to? Explain your answer into 10-30 sentences.


33. Choco na gatas or gatas na choco? Nakakabusog o Nakakalusog?


34. Hot pa din ba ang hot sauce pag nilagay mo sa loob ng ref?


35. Saang direksyon papunta ang One Direction?


36. Bakit laban ang hanap ng batang bonakid?


37. Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?


38. Kung si Corazon ang unang aswang, pang-ilan ka?


39. Sa huling pagkakataon, tatanungin ulit kita. Showtime or Goodtime? Tandaan mo meron ka ng X.


40. Ano ang mas tama? AMALAYER or AMABEE? Explain.


Ugh!!! PAKISAGOT ☆★☆